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Sex would smell like chocolate2. Farts would smell like roses3. Dogs would smell spring fresh4. Babies would come from vending machines5. Men would be born with a permanent erection6. All women would have the same size breasts7. There would be no cellulite8. Every food on the planet would be FAT FREE9. Men would be born with an “OFF” switch10. There would be no “Hooters”11. A man’s paycheck would be made payable to his wife12. All menstrual cycles would be replaced with a 5-8 day vacation in Hawaii!13. Men would inherit the menstrual cycle14. Men would come with software to be custom designed15. Men would come equipped with homing device for quick location by wife16. Men would have a built in lie detector on forehead for instant verification of truth17. Men would be intelligent enough to tell the difference between six inches and three inches18. Sex would last longer than 3- seconds19. Foreplay would not be a quick slap on the fanny and a kiss on the cheek20. Viagra becomes an over. Both parts of the set were extra firm, and that was really comfortable on my broken down body.I finally found the courage to get up and go to the bathroom. It wasn’t cold just chilly. After the bathroom, I heated the day old coffee in the worlds smallest microwave oven. I checked my email while I finished it off. Once the last of yesterdays coffee was in he microwave, I made the new days brew.Lucy had bought me the generic coffee maker and blended the coffee for me. She mixed Maxwell house original recipe with a house brand blend of some kind of Colombian stronger coffee. The two mixed together was very good, so I didn’t see any reason to change it.Since the trailer was still chilly, I dressed for the day rather than wait till after breakfast. It was a good thing I did. Rita knocked on my door.“What can I do for you so early in the morning? You want some breakfast?” I asked.“No thanks I’ve already eaten. I need your help,” Rita said. “It’s mom.” She said it as she seated herself at.
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